rating: 5/5 angry ninjas

okay now that we got that out of the way, tomorrow is halloween, and heres how that shakes out

• as a kid, that meant you got to dress up as your favorite super hero/princess and run around your neighborhood asking for candy.
• as a teen, it meant you got to get dressed in all black and go around egging/toilet papering peoples houses.
• as a 20-something year old, it means you get to put on all sorts of sexually deviant clothing and try to attract the attention of a member of the opposite sex.

for guys, this means dressing up as

• spartan from 300 if you have the guns and the abs
• dick in a box if you dont

for the ladies, youve got the options of

• sexy kitten
• school girl
• naughty nurse

now halloween is one of those occasions where everybody goes out. it doesnt matter if your single, in a relationship, or in a coma. youll see everyone out at halloween parties, meaning if your single, this is the perfect place to meet members of the opposite sex.

sadly, other singles dont travel alone, so that sexy kitten or spartan youve been eyeing all night? well she or he comes attached to the hip with that ugly betty two face – and youre not even sure if ugly betty or two face is wearing a costume.

this is when you need a grenade jumper. what is that you ask? well a grenade jumper is one of your friends who will jump on ugly betty or two face, occupying their time and buying them drinks so that you can talk to the sexy kitten or spartan.

we salute you brave grenade jumpers – making the land safe for single people everywhere.

have fun and be safe out there everyone.